New Years Resolution And Anxiety

(Please share this with someone who needs it)

In this video, we are going to take you through a series of strategies that you can use to deal with anxiety and prevent it from happening and consuming your life.

Core Pillars:

- Environment

- People

- Food and Nutrition

- Exercise

Strategies

- Isolate

- Record

- 80/20

- Action Plan

- Ask for help

- Submodality manipulation

These are just some of the things we can do to better master our minds. Remember that

“Worry doesn’t solve tomorrows challenges, it simply robs todays joy”- Calvin Coyles

Wishing you every Success in 2016, make sure you’re in the right place ahead of setting goals and if you’ve already set them, use this to make them stick.

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Happy New Year, guys. Calvin here from Young & Wildly Successful. We’re here the 2nd of January. And I’ve been meaning to do a New Year’s resolution video for everybody. In fact, I’ve even recorded a couple of them but I was never really happy with it. And I was wondering why I hadn’t released something yet. I was wondering why things weren’t working. And I was like, “You know what? Just trust in it, Cal. Trust that if you’re meant to do a New Year’s resolution video for people, you’ll do it and if you’re not, you’re not.”

Anyway today I wake up to a message from a client of mine who came and did our training last year. She was asking me about a technical aspect about trainings, looking at sub modalities. And she said, “How do you help somebody with anxiety at this time of the year,” and I realized in that moment that I was going to record this video for you before I record the video about New Year’s resolutions. Because whilst we’d like to be in this space at the beginning of the year, which is high energy and setting New Year’s goals and making all these things happen, I know for me and I know for a lot of people out there, whether you’re willing to admit or not, most people when they’re setting goals have a high level of anxiety around setting goals. And that anxiety is caused by a number of different factors.

One, setting goals about where you want to travel for some people means they put financial anxiety on themselves because they got to try and make the money to be able to make it happen. For some people, setting goals in relation to weight and losing weight puts anxiety, because they don’t want to go to the gym. They don’t have to have anxiety by going to the gym or maybe they have anxiety about the fact that they’ve tried many times before and they’ve never got there. Or maybe they have anxiety about sharing their goals with other people. Or maybe they even just have anxiety around process of goal setting because some people particularly women, let me just make this clear…it’s not a sexist comment but it’s the truth…some people find it very easy to set very tangible, very specific goals. Traditionally that’s a masculine trait.

So guys will be very easy to identify a key number in their lives of how much they want to weigh or how much they want to achieve, whereas women will traditionally be more emotional. And so they find it very hard to set very specific goals. For example when I speak to Cherish, she doesn’t ever have a weight she wants to weigh. She has a feeling. She has a look. Whereas for me, I know the specific weight in numbers that I want to try and achieve and I want to hit.

So it’s a period of time for a lot of people, particularly the end of Christmas, people’s finances are low, people’s aspirations are high. And at times when you have little resources and high aspirations, it’s very easy to feel like you’re not good enough. It’s very easy to feel like you’re not going to be able to make it happen. It’s very easy to feel like you don’t have what it takes. It’s very easy to feel like you’re not ready. All of these things start to build up. And the thing with anxiety is, it’s like fighting with your shadow. Because for so many people they don’t nail it down because they don’t have a set of skills and tools on how to deal with anxiety.

And on this video I want to give you some skills. Now it’s not the plethora of skills you can use. There’s a million different tools to deal with. And anxiety for everybody is very different, but having worked now with over 100,000 people in 64 countries and dealt with a lot of anxiety based challenges, not only dealing with my own life but also dealing with other people’s lives…and I want to promise you something as well, by the way.

I was sitting with a family member and a friend the other day. And we were talking about money. And we were talking about anxiety around money. And I was saying that I’ve been dealing with a little bit of it this year, because looking at the amount of money we want to make but also the amount of money we’ve got to spend, all these different things happening. And she was reflecting on how she was also dealing with anxiety. And she says, “Cal, perhaps I haven’t dealt with the same amount of zeros in the bank as what you have.” And I said, “But you know what, it’s all relative.”

I’ve got friends where in the weeks that we’ve spent maybe $25,000, I’m like, “Holy shit, that’s a lot of money,” they spend $250. Your problems never go away, guys. You just get better at dealing with them. And I want to be able to give you some tools, because as you take on more challenges, they say the quality of your life is determined by the quality of the problems that you have. And for a lot of people they have very small problems. Problems like paying the bills, problems like paying for a speeding fine, problems like being able to afford dinner out. Nelson Mandela had bigger quality problems. Richard Branson has bigger quality problems. [Inaudible 00:03:55] has bigger quality problems.

So I want to give you some skills in this video that you can utilize to be able to navigate in anxiety in this year. Understanding that there is a natural level of anxiety that everyone has which is healthy. And there’s an unnatural and there’s an unhealthy amount of anxiety that is oftentimes a factor of a couple of key factors which we’re going to talk about. One of the key factors is going to be food.

A lot of people have food that is in their diet that’s toxic, that’s not actually leading them to having a better quality mental outlook in life. And I know for me, if I’ve had too much sugar particularly or yeah, I don’t really drink a lot but if I’ve had a lot to drink, then that just puts me in a really down state. It’s easy for that demon to come out in your mind. Everyone has an inner voice that’s a critic. It’s easy for that critic to come out and start to attack a little bit more when you’re feeling tired, when you’re feeling down, when you’re feeling fatigued. So having a really clean diet is going to be very important.

Also the environment you surround yourself in. Not just the physical environment but also the emotional environment. If you’re around people at the moment that are toxic, you need to find some space. And so today whilst I’ve got an incredible environment around me, today I’m going to go and put myself in an even better environment. I’m going to go and travel down to the beach as I do every year. And I’ll record a video on the back end of this for everybody to show you that process. But I’m going to go down to the beach. I’m going to sit there with my books, my laptop, and also some journals. I’m going to reflect on 2015. I’m going to plan 2016. I’ve already done that for the business but I’m going to do that personally this year.

And so I always do that down at the beach. I always swim at the beach as well. But before I go down there, I’m going to go and train. Because I want to make sure my body is in a peak physical condition, so that my mind is opened up, I’ve got endorphins and dopamine in my system, I’m feeling good, that means I’m in the great environment for change. So one, you want to make sure you have the right environment around you, you’re in a great space. And I’ve showed a couple of videos with these photos behind me. I’m actually just about to update them because these aren’t including this year. That’s only up until like July of this year.

But two years ago, I went to 21 countries around the world. Last year, I went to 17 countries around the world. I did 82 different events. That’s extreme. It’s so easy to forget them. You do a lot of things in your life that are really significant, that are special, that are amazing. It might be a moment with dinner or with your family or it might be an accomplishment or it might be a promotion at work. But we don’t capture these moments. We don’t reflect on them. So I’ve got my office with these posters up to be able to surround me and constantly remind me when I’m at home of what’s happening. And I’ve got it on my desktop as well.

So your environment’s very important at this time of the year. If you’re not in the right environment to set goals for 2016, change your environment. If you’re not eating the right food, change what you’re eating. Instead of having a full meal before you want to set goals, why don’t you have a green smoothie? Why don’t you have a coffee and a glass of coconut water? Why don’t you fast for the day? And as opposed to using the energy to digest, use the energy to go out there and manifest. These are just some simple examples but it’ll make a big difference. So clean diet, good environment.

Also make sure you move your physical body. The body that’s still and stagnant produces certain results. And we know from leading science, neuroscience that was based in research that came out in 2014, that if your body is still or stagnant for 45 minutes, the receptors in your brain drop to about 20% to 40% of their neurological capacity. So what that means in layman’s terms is that when you’re sitting your ass down for 45 minutes, people, then your brain stops working and it goes down to 20% or 40% of your capacity. However if you move simply for five minutes or more, that neurological capacity spikes. It goes back up to 80% to 90%. So you’ve got to keep moving every 45 minutes. And our brain also works in meridian cycles of roundabout 90 minutes. And so you can focus on one thing for 90 minutes at a time.

So my encouragement to you would be to work for 45 minutes, take a 5 minute break, another 45 minutes, take a five minute break. Then change fundamentally what you’re doing. And 90 minutes is all you need to be able to block things out. And then you go and have a swim, come back, get back into it. So the environment, the people, the food, the exercise, they’re all really important stabilities because if you’re not doing that, then your body is going to eat away at you. And a busy mind, a creative mind, if it doesn’t have an exploration, if it doesn’t have something that wants to create and to manifest, it’ll eat itself.

I want you to understand that we live in a world of constant stimulation. If you stop your mind and you don’t give it something to do…by the way, meditation is still something to do…but if you don’t give it something, it gets bored. It’s not connected and tapping in. And the worst thing to do at this time of the year is to go and spend your year looking at how people are celebrating their year instead of you living it.

So instead of jumping on social media right now…although yeah, I’m grateful for you watching this video right now…instead of jumping on social media, perhaps take a moment and turn the phone off and think about what you want to achieve for you, not what somebody else has achieved that you want to replicate. Because that’s their life, not your life. But nonetheless, getting clear about where you are. If you don’t give the mind and the brain and the ego, if you will, something to do, then it will manifest itself by attacking you inwards. And that’s not a pleasant place to be. I’ve been there. It’s not a pleasant place to be.

So here are some strategies and tools. Now you understand a little bit of the foundations. Good exercise, good food, good environment, good people. Once you understand those things, now let’s have a look at some things that you can do to be able to deal with the negative voice inside your head, the anxiety that eats away at your self-confidence, that stops you from being able to set world class game-changing goals that makes you go out there and want to make 2016 a phenomenal life-changing adventure.

One of the big things why people mess up in relation to anxiety, one of the big things they struggle with, is the fact that for a lot of people, they are dealing with way too many problems at once. And so anxiety is such a beast. It’s like fighting shadows. When you’re fighting with shadows, you don’t know exactly what to focus on at any one point in time. And so there’s a lot of activity in your head, and not a lot of clarity and focus.

And so I’ve dealt with this before. And I promise you, your anxiety is not going to go away. You’re just going to get better at dealing with it. But one of the big things to remember is that when you’re fighting shadows, it’s very easy to get overwhelmed and then feel anxious about all the different little things. And the little things, when they’re not clear, look like a lot of big things.

But I’m not sure about you, but I know for me…this is something I’ve done, my clients have done around the world with great results with, is simply the process of quieting the mind instead of focusing on all the things at once, going, “Forget about all of them, I’m just going to grab ahold of one.” Grabbed it, what is this? Okay, finances for a lot of people, great. What’s my fear or what’s my anxiety around my finances? And then just write that down. Let it go.

As soon as you write it down, it disappears because the brain’s already identified, it’s created a neurological link. And I want you to imagine that, a great metaphor I was shared a couple of months ago, was this idea of electricity. So if electricity comes through somebody and hits a body, hits a physical body, and then it’s grounded, it channels through that person.

But if electricity flies into a physical body and that body is not grounded…like, if that body was up in the air for example or hanging off a rope, something like that…not physically grounded, then it sparks. And it creates this…it just destroys what it’s touching. It goes through somebody, it’s grounding. People can survive if they’re being grounded, but if they just get hit, it just sparks off. There’s too much electromagnetic force and it just basically explodes. What we want to do is ground the anxiety. So bring the anxiety ground, write it down. The next one, write it down.

And you want to take the thoughts…and they’re going to seem like at the time when you’re doing this, you’re going to seem like you got 200 thoughts in your head. I promise you, my experience has been…having done this around the world, as I said with over 100,000 people now in 64 countries…that you’re going to have anywhere between 5 to 9 different thoughts. Most people will not have more than nine. I know this because our brain can only focus on nine things at a time. Now it’s very clever because it makes you think it’s a lot more than that, but I promise you, write your list down and I promise you it will be only nine things you’ve been thinking about maximum. Most people, it’s going to be three to five, but nine’s going to be the max. Now if you have a little bit more, no big deal.

So write them all down. And when you write them down, you take away the power that anxiety has to make things seem worse than they are. Because fear breeds off more fear. Anxiety breeds off more anxiety. Depression breeds off more depression. It can’t live in an environment of truth. It can’t live in an environment of clarity. It can’t live in an environment of precision and focus. So now that we’ve done that, that doesn’t get rid of our problems.

But what it does is it allows us to look at them as they are. I often say in our courses and seminars that a leader’s role is to see the world as it is, no better or worse. Then to see it better and then to make it that way. For a lot of people, they never get clear on how it is. And for some of you, by the way, your reality right now is going to be pretty difficult to deal with.

For some of you, you’ve been thinking your reality is actually much harder than what it is. And I give you a quote now that I heard a couple of weeks ago that really has lasted with me because it was very poignant when I heard it. And that is that, “Worry and anxiety doesn’t get rid of tomorrow’s problems…” I’m going to repeat that first line. “Worry and anxiety does not get rid of tomorrow’s problems. All it does is rob today’s joy. Worrying and anxiety doesn’t get rid of tomorrow’s problems,” it just gets rid of, it just destroys, it just robs today of joy. And when I realized that, I realized that no amount of worrying about what could happen tomorrow, may happen tomorrow, probably won’t happen tomorrow, is going to get rid of the problems or challenges I’ll deal with tomorrow.

But it will get rid of any opportunity I have to experience joy today. If it’s a problem today, deal with it. If it’s not a problem today, then put some action plans in place to be able to deal with it. Or just forget about it, because most of the things you worry about never happen. But this process allows you to be able to take those down. Then when you’ve got them down, you’ve got them written down…when you have them down, what I find is traditionally when you look at them, most of them are actually not that big of a deal. Most of them are really stupid ideas but we make them feel big in our minds.

But the ones that are legitimate, the ones that are actually really a cause for concern for you, the cause for concern is that you’re not going to be able to deal with the problem. That you don’t have the answer, for example, and there’s a couple of ways of dealing with that. First and foremost, put a plan in place. Deal with it. Go, “How do I solve this problem,” and I want you to keep in mind, draw on your pad, on your paper…don’t do this in your phone, by the way, it’s got to be written down…but draw on your pad and your paper that 80/20 principle. Eighty per cent of my time is focused on this solution, 20% on the problem. Eighty percent on the solution, 20% on the problem. So identify the problem, go, “Great, I know what the problem is. It’s not going to help me focusing on that anymore. What’s the solution?”

If you don’t know the solution, ask yourself who might know the solution to this. Who’s already been there and dealt with this before that could help me? Mom, dad, brother, sister, mentor, uncle, friend, colleague, work friend, friend on Facebook, me, I don’t know. Ask, I’m happy to help. So reach out to these people. Ask them how to solve these problems. And by the way, the answer might not be what you want, but at least it’s what you need.

And so you want to get clear on the solution to your problem. You want to be able to write that down and put a plan in place. I want you to understand something. Fear cannot live in an environment of gratitude. Fear cannot live in an environment of gratitude. Anxiety cannot live in an environment of progress. And if you’re living in an environment of progress, if you feel you’re making progress towards a goal, your brain goes, “Oh, she’s got this. He’s got this.”

Even if you don’t know every step of the process, if you feel like you’re taking action towards something, that gives you the Dutch courage, so to speak, to keep going. And that’s what we need. Anxiety festers. It’s like mosquitos in still water. If you leave water overnight, mosquitoes will fester. Anxiety festers if you’re not doing anything.

If you’re moving towards something, if you’ve got a plan in place, if you’re trusting in that plan, if you’ve got a mentor or an advisor, a friend, a colleague supporting you in that process, if you’ve got people around you to help you, it’s all part of the environment. If you exercise and you’re eating well, you’re looking well, you’re talking well, things are moving in the right direction, then anxiety is going to leave you and going to focus on somebody else that doesn’t have the same foundations and fundamentals.

Now all of those things are very valuable. And that’s going to help 99% of people watching this video. There are a few people that have just got such a habitual way of dealing with anxiety that you need a slightly different attack strategy. Incorporate that, please, because that’s going to solve problems longer term. But a short-term strategy, not a solution but a short term strategy to deal with anxiety is what we referred to as sub-modality work. Sub-modality work is basically looking at the way that we process the world. And so the way we process the world, I’ll just give you the simple signs behind it and then I’ll give you a strategy. We process the world based on our thoughts, our feelings, our tastes, our smells, our touch and also our internal dialogues. We have a series of senses that we refer to them as.

Then if you look at the sub-modalities of all of those things, or the building blocks if you will of them, if you look at the visual way, the way we see the world, the way we see the world is broken down into color. It’s broken down into distance. It’s broken down into framed or movie or still or panoramic. It’s broken down to all of these key areas. Imagine if you will, if you took an environment that was quite beautiful for you, made it black and white. You’ve done this before on Instagram, haven’t you? Or on Facebook, where you changed the filter? What difference does it make by changing the filter? Sometimes it makes the experience look better. Sometimes it makes the experience look worse. Sometimes it makes it look nostalgic. Yes, sometimes it takes away some of the significance.

But I want you to imagine that you’ve got a filter system in your mind like Instagram, where you can take a photo of any moment, past, present, or future, and you can amplify it and make it better or you can make it small and insignificant. So take the moments of anxiety and just take a mental screenshot, if you will, and make it black and white. And see what that does for you. And I promise you, what will happen as you begin to experiment and be creative with this…take the thought of finances and anxiety, whatever the image you have in your mind when you think about that and then just make it pink, make it bright pink. Make everywhere pink, and then make everyone have pink beads and bald heads and wearing tutus.

And imagine if you’re just thinking about that, just go through, just do this with me real quick, think about something that you find as a sense of anxiety, when you think about causes you to feel anxiety. Just close your eyes for me. And what I want you to do is just imagine that the whole thing just gets splattered with pink paint. Paint people who’ve got pink beards and purple tutus and everyone’s bald. And just imagine what that does to the experience. Most people right now are going to probably be laughing. I know I certainly am on the inside. And when I’ve done this in seminars around the world, I know that’s the experience because it takes away the negative stimulus and instead it goes, “Oh, it’s not really that significant anymore.”

But likewise we can also do some cool things with sound. And one of the cool things we can do with sound which is very effective is to change the language and also change the inflection points. So I’m not particularly great at Duffy Duck or Mickey Mouse. But I do understand them to be very powerful characters in our science and our neurology. So for example, if you’re thinking about anxiety and something that you feel anxious about, I want you to imagine that you’re like Mickey Mouse, “Hello, there. Hello, my name’s Mickey Mouse.” And I want you to pretend like you’re Mickey Mouse, “I have got anxiety around finances,” right? I don’t think that’s even close. I think that’s like…I think that’s Goofy more than Mickey Mouse.

But I want you to imagine you’re in this high-pitched Looney Toons voice or one of my favorite rappers, 50 Cent, and I want you to imagine that you’re rapping your anxiety problems. Now this is much better in a live experience but nonetheless you get the gist of it. And that is to take the language that you would use around anxiety and in your head going, “I’ve got problems around finance. I’ve got problems around finances. I don’t have enough money,” whatever the case may be. Change language patterns. If you say that like Mickey Mouse, it’s going to get rid of the problems.

And I want to give you a simple example of this. We had a lady in our last self-mastery program when we did this activity with. And she had a negative blueprint, a negative pattern of her life the last 25 years. Her language was that she’d ruined the last 25 years. She’d ruined her family. This is a lady who’d been through drugs, sex, alcohol, prostitution, physical, mental, emotional, sexual abuse. Huge challenges, more challenges in her life than what most people would ever dream of dealing with in their worst nightmares.

And we did a simple activity. And we got her to pretend like she was Mickey Mouse telling her story. We got her to pretend like she was 50 Cent rapping her story. I got her to pretend like she was a country and western singer doing her story. And I swear to God, 10 minutes after doing this process, backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards, she could not say the story again without cracking up and laughing at it. And it completely got rid of the fear and the anxiety around it for her.

I want you to understand that’s how powerful this is, so have some fun with it. So long term strategy as I talked about already is to quickly recap. I know it’s been a long video but hopefully it’s a valuable one for you. Because if you set goals, guys, if you say, “2016 is going to be my year, baby. Boom, I’m ready,” but the little voice inside yourself says, “Good luck. You’re not going to make it. You never made goals happen last year, why are you going to do this year?” If that voice is there when you’re setting your goals, then that can either defeat you or it will just slowly corrode away at your spirit. And it might do it on the firs, and the second and third and the fourth of January and the fifteenth of April and the twenty-third of July, but eventually it will get there for you.

So set the goals from the right place. Make sure you’re eating good food, you’re exercising, you’re in the right environment with the right people, very important. Some people you don’t want to be around when you’re setting goals. Some people you want to be around once you’ve set them and you want to make them happen but not for the creative process. So discern whose people they are for you. On top of that, you want to make sure you focus 80% of your time on the solution, 20% on the problem. And take the goals that you’ve got. So take the anxiety you’ve got, bring it down, write it down, write it down, deal with it, put a plan in place, move forward. And then for the people that are still stuck, manipulate your sub-modalities. Make it black and white. Turn it all pink.

You better put Mickey Mouse’s voice in there, put Donald Duck’s voice in there. Rap it like 50 Cent to yourself. Make it like a country and western movie. I don’t know what you want to do, but do something to play around with it. And just play around with different sub-modalities. Imagine people on a bike. Imagine people driving off a cliff and diving into a sea of marshmallows. Imagine puppies, literally every time someone speaks, every time someone tells you about what you can’t achieve, puppies come out of their mouth, beautiful little puppies.

I’m just playing with this but I want you to imagine that your imagination can run wild here. And your imaginations creating the problem can be the imagination that gets rid of the problem of anxiety as well. So hopefully that video helped. This is not for me. This is for you guys. But I want you to understand that everyone’s dealing with anxiety. And in fact, there’s a lot of people in the world today that are dealing with depression and anxiety. In fact, half of the world, in the Western world, they’re on antidepressant, anti-anxiety medication. That blows my freaking mind. I didn’t realize this until I started asking around. I realized some my family members are on it. And I was like, “Jeez, what are you doing? Come to my course, we’ll solve it.”

And for you people out there as well that are watching, I know there’s ways of helping. And I promise you, I’m not a medical doctor. But let me just say this straight out. I’m willing to accept the consequences. Taking anti-anxiety and anti-depression medication is not helping you. You’ve still got anxiety and you still have depression. You’re just masking the problem. So if you want a solution to the problem, come speak to us. We’ll help you, but this is not about that. This is about giving you some skills and tools to help you with it today. So please share this with somebody that you think needs a hand. And let me just make something clear. The ones you don’t think have anxiety have probably got anxiety more than others, because I know for me, I’m telling you straight up, yes, I’ve dealt with anxiety. Yes, I’ve dealt with depression.

Now I’m not dealing with chronic depression or chronic anxiety because I’ll never let it go to that point because I’ve got the skills and tools to deal with it. But I promise you, some of the highs and lows we had last year were huge. I was telling a friend actually on New Year’s Eve, I was talking to him about how there was time in June in London when I was…literally I had $800 in the bank. I didn’t have a ticket out of the country. I’ve got me and my partner, Cherish. I don’t have accommodation for the next night. And I’ve got one opportunity to be able to make something happen. I’ve got huge pressure and huge anxiety on me, because if I don’t produce a result of the business on that night, we have no money, none.

And you know, you don’t want to have to pick up the phone to your family and friends or whatever to try and beg, steal, and borrow to get out there. Thankfully when I dominated that moment, we had an incredible result. We then had an incredible result. We did $170,000…150, sorry $150,000 for that month in Europe. Things were better. But the reality still doesn’t get rid of the fact that I had anxiety at that point in time. So I want you to understand that your problems don’t go away. You just get better at dealing with them. Hopefully this video will help.

So please comment, share, like, tag somebody in this video that you think is about to set some big, hairy, audacious goals for 2016, but might need to be able to understand how is the best way to ground themselves before they do that process, and to be able to deal with some of the anxiety that no doubt comes up, once they say, “I know I’m going to make this happen,” because the human psyche says, as soon as you say make it happen, then you got to make it happen. And that’s going to bring up a lot of anxiety for people. So as a gift from me, I just want to say, “All the very best for 2016.” We’ve got an amazing webinar coming out. You’ll see some of the information coming up very soon about it which will roundabout the 16th of January.

Why the 16th? Because science show that 85% of people that set a New Year’s resolution by the 16th have already given up. So we’re going to be doing a webinar on the 16th to be able to help people keep going. I also want to encourage you to be able to jump to the website. Check out any of the stuff that we’ve got, particularly the 21-Day Breakfast Success Challenge is going to help you. But on the back end of this video, guys, once I finish this, going to the gym, set some goals. I’ll do a video for you guys later on today. But the goal-setting process I go through to set my year up for success is why I love to share that with you.

So comment, like, share, tag. Do all the stuff that you do until I see you on another video. Live strong and live with passion. Make today, guys, and everyday phenomenal, life-changing in your adventure. Remember you’re bigger and better than anxiety. You’re going to deal with it, but you can handle it. And above all else, guys, remember to live life on your terms. Happy New Year.