“I’m not motivated” is a common excuse amongst people when they aren’t particularly enthused to do something. It usually involves something that you know you should do, but right now you really really really don’t want to. Like, really.
We foolishly believe that you need motivation first, in order to then do something meaningful. This can be something like going to the gym, preparing meals, planning out your social media posts, writing a blog post or doing something sexual to your partner. We know we should do these things, we know how our world will become better if we do these things – but we don’t do them because we think that our tank is empty. In actuality, the fuel needed is not motivation, your tank is actually already full with what is needed to get started.
We humans generally think that we require a certain sum or a particular amount of this resource called motivation in order to get a move on. This couldn’t be more wrong.
Motivation comes from when we feel like we have to do something due to an overarching emotional desire.
“I just saw myself in the mirror when I was getting changed and realised I have a huge muffin top. I’m going to the gym.” This experience triggered an emotional reaction and the motivation came along to start the show.
How long do you think that will last, though? How long will she keep this motivation up in continuing to eat clean and go to the gym? What about when she’s tired from work? Or it’s freaking freezing outside and my legs are sore? Not very long.
Most people will stop there. Then a few weeks later they see that muffin top popping out and away she goes back to the gym. Rinse, repeat.
We have it all around the wrong way. Motivation comes when you are doing what it is that you should be doing.
Countless times I have been unmotivated to do something I know I should. I look at the big project ahead of me and am unmotivated to do anything as it seems like it is going to take a lot of work and time and I just don’t have the energy right now..
But, this is what we do:
“I’m just going to write the outline for the blog post”
“I’m just going to go for a quick run”
“I’m just going to prepare tomorrows meals”
What you will find that happens is the motivation comes along to the party soon afterwards. It usually turns into the best workout, or the best posts, or the best intimacy session your partner has ever experienced. The motivation comes along when you are doing the things you should be doing, not the other way around.
Waiting for motivation to come along and get you started will inevitably cause you to not do the things you should do to achieve the things you want. Do a little bit of the thing you should do and the motivation will come along soon after - Then you have momentum, and then you really start to kill it.
Just remember, not doing something is still doing something. The same as not making a decision is a decision in itself. You can flick through Facebook and read the BS on there, or you can flick through a book and empower yourself. The something that you choose to do might as well be the one that is going to get you to your destination.